I'LL SEE YOU UNDER THE TABLE

A day late and several hundred big ones in the hole. Damn.

Eugh. I hate looking at my own work. It reminds me of all my flaws as a writer and as a person. Looking backwards distracts from the present. 

I dunno what to say when I look at my writing. Let's take the diagnostic essay. I pretty much wrote about my belief in the value of friendship. You know, the whole "No man is an island" sorta ideal. The way I see it is I've been influenced by three things; experience, culture and counterculture. My expereinces have taught me that we are very much connected to our environments, including the people around us. The high values I place on friendship or "social links" stems from a lot of cartoons and games I used to watch and play. For some reason a ton of Japanese kids shows express themes of friendship and teamwork. It's pretty fun. Some of the storytelling in those games and shows are really good, considering the type of audience they're usually made for. Anyway, the final thing is counterculture, or anti-meta. Modern day America, and arguably much of the world, has been shaped by neoliberal ideologies. One such ideology I am critical of is the idea of rugged individualism. It;s the sort of idea that people had in their minds when they went out to settle the west, that Davy Crockett tough man act. Levi's' (the jeans company) used the slogan "Go Forth" along with images of sprawling plains and fields, derived from nostalgic mid-western sceneries of olde America. I hate that shit. No one does anything on their own, and if they do, they're probably fucking miserable at the end of the day. Having someone to lean on, having people you can trust. That's important. I love ideas that counter the mainstream. I make an active effort to not listen to recent music. I waste my money making ancient, out-of format decks. Maybe i'm trying to find myself. Maybe i'm attempting to contruct my identity by identifying what I am not. I have to say, some of the things I've learned a lot about myself over the course of this semester. I like that. 

Let's see, Blog post 1? I think this was the one where we write about a narrative in our major. I wrote about all the crap that goes on in the cinema industry today, specifically with how race is involved and who's included and who;s excluded. This was a cookie cutter write up, I feel. Really simple ideas, just with more recent evidence. 

Paper 2. I was very upset with myself and everything around me and this was my temper tantrum. I was unable to step out of my discourse. The film, "Waltz with Bashir" appealed to the revolutionary in me. It's an unconventional expose of an (unfortunately) obscure foreign conflict (genocide). I've got stars in my eyes. This movie is beautiful. Folman made a movie about something ugly but painted it in a format that keeps you from looking away. You're forced to watch through Folman's dry satire of the glory of war. Counter to American war films. Delicious. 

Thinking out of the box is over rated...

I'm not sure how to describe my experience in this particular English class. Let me begin with: all english classes should be like the one I just completed.

Eugenia Loli

Entering this class, my first paper had academic standard plastered all over it, not saying it's a bad thing but it reads awkward. Perhaps it was my topic, writing about such casual experience in an academic paper was quite difficult. Anyway, the catch here was that my professor didn't set any standards, all she said was "write about something that you believe in". Short and simple I wrote about how I believe people should travel and experience as much as the world as they can. 

As students we have created metaphors and excepted all the narratives without question. Here I was in college writing my first paper about something I believe in, constraining my writing abilities to what the regular English class professor would find acceptable. Now, reflecting back on class discussions, argumentative essays and Malcolm Gladwell everything makes a bit more sense. The way I read, understand, think and write has been immensely "disturbed" by this class. The reason for the quotation is because that's what some English teachers would refer it as; disturbing the normal though process of an english student. In deed it disturbed my way of though but in a satisfying way. 

Now I'm able to read a piece and nitpick all of the different narratives and reveal the metaphors created by society. However, this is more than just analyzing a piece of literature, the way people act and identify is because all the rules and expectations society as feed us at a young age. In this course we talked about discourses and how a person can successfully be a part of multiple discourses. Education facilitates the transition between discourses and it allows us to break those rules and expectations and create our own way of living.

The unique aspect of this English class was that once I stepped out of the classroom, the lessons taught did not vanish. Discussions were making me question the readings and views in my other classes, particularly in my future career path.

Being an International Relations major entails interacting with people that have different views and beliefs, that is mainly the reason why this major intrigues me. This course made me expand my way of thinking and critically explain the reason behind my personal opinion. I'm walking out of this English course with a better understanding of literature and its influence on society. 

Final Reflection, My Weaknesses

Throughout this semester I have learned many ways of detailing and developing the way I write, also understanding different articles. While writing, one may write the way they talk multiple times, they will be able to get the point across but its not going to be easy for the reader to understand. In the beginning I agreed with the idea of SRTOL “Students' Right to Their Own Language” because why do we have to learn someone else’s language or the way they write? Why can’t we just write the way we feel comfortable? But now I disagree because from my point of view English being a third langue, I always have had hard time writing or understanding articles. First of all every one have different kinds of writing and different views of understanding articles. Most of the time explaining your point in writing is harder than in person to person conversation, because you have to explain and proof your idea clearly to get your point across.  I personally believe that if you don’t get out of you comfort zone you will not learn much. This also applies to writing: if you don’t learn to adapt to different readings and forms of writing, you will not improve your writing and understanding different articles.

When it comes to my writing skills, I have weaknesses and strengths. The most important things about this is that I know my weaknesses strength so that I can work on what needs to be fixed, and better what is already good. To begin, I have multiple weaknesses. One major one is, grammar. As a English third language student learning the English language to be fluent is really hard because it is a very complex language when it comes to pronunciation, spelling, capitalization, syllables and others. And in order to replicate ways of saying in writing one has to use very complicated techniques in an essay. This might be easy for English speakers but for foreign it is a bit complicated. I struggled with making ends meet and using the right grammatical ways. It was really hard at first to satisfy the reader’s expectation regarding clarity and perfection, but since writing is like another language I decided to learn it by giving it most of my attention.

Another weakness is sentence structure. When I am writing some essays I usually race with the time instead of taking my time and writing it clearly so my idea is not clearly understood through my writing. Learning English was not actually that hard than I thought, because I have no choice but to speak the language since I am surrounded with people that are only speaking English. When I write I make common mistakes like spelling, sentence structure and grammar mistakes as well as lack of clarity.  Looking back at my papers, one thing that helped me with these kinds of things is peer review and comments because I was able to correct my mistake and fix the weaknesses. This makes my essay strong and clear, and which also helps the readers understand the concept.I usually get feedback  that goes like this; “…you have many good ideas but…” I have to choose one topic and go from there and make it strong. I also get the same feed backs from my peers.

Assignment 4

Self Learning 

This class was very different for me, compared to my other English class. All my other English class judge my writing based on academic standard.  More so on how I can argue an idea. this class has taught me not to put myself aside my writing  but draw myself into the topic by making personal connections.  The class writing made me feel connected with what I wrote about because I had a chance to tie it back into my discourse,something that I felt strongly about. My other classes gave me a prompt to write about and everybody in the class wrote about the same thing. Although the class writing had to met certain requirements, I felt like the writing was more free of choice . For instance, in the begin of the semester the class was assigned to write an editorial article. Instead of you telling us how to do it we was required to read other people writing articles and got a chance to gain our own understanding. Then we got a chance to choose our own topic to research. Good thing the class was required to read a lot of editorials because it allowed us to really understand how to structure one. Coming into the class I didn't even know what an editorial was less alone how to write one. Without this class I still wouldn't know how to write an editorial. The editorial article was one of my favorite own pieces of writing that I did in English class because I had a chance to choose a topic that I felt like was a problem for most college students. Looking back on that paper I realized most of my thoughts are embedded even me because I know in society its right thing to do. I mainly care about what's right and what's fair for people in the world. I feel rules and policy should expand to all people needs not just a certain class of people. Although, I know we live in a on equal world it was still fun to extend my ideas on what should be. For instance, throughout the semester I wrote about; karma, schooling being expensive, middle class and how physician assisted suicide should be legal. These topics was very important and personal to me. I’m happy I had a chance to expand on why my idea matter and had a chance to speak from the heart. Looking back on all my writing in this class, I would say my invisible narrative would be me really caring for other and how I want the world to be equal. This class gave me a chance to write and think for myself. Instead, of being taught how to think. I would say my writing always came from the heart and how I imagine the world to be.  This class have gave me a chance to not to over think my writing, far as it being right or wrong but me writing  about what I stand for. I feel like not over thinking my writing is a big accomplishment I made this semester because usually I focus on the wrong thing  and get lost in my own thoughts . I  had clear mind set on all my writing during the semester because I felt connected and didn't feel pressure on getting my point across. I really like the writing material for the class and on top of that I really enjoyed choosing my own topics. Moving forward I feel like I grew as  writer. I went from shy, to confident about what I saying in my writing. Now I know the true meaning of identifying language and  my own language as well. Moving on into a high English class I will remember to put myself (emotions) into my writing, no no matter the topic.

Now I can create change

   

       During the course of the semester I have learned a lot about my own invisible narratives and myself. Looking back at my first paper I can see that I have my own invisible narratives that I had never really noticed. For example during my first written assignment I wrote about how I believe in hard work and that hard work truly pays off. I feel like I created the idea that if you don’t work hard that you shouldn’t have things go your way. Also I made it seems like people that give up when things get tough are weak. That people who aren’t really strong or capable shouldn’t even be in the game and are just taking up space. This isn’t a good mindset and I didn’t even realize that this was my mindset. But that isn’t the way way I want to view things. Another invisible narrative I found about my self and my ideas is the fact that I believe heavily on evidence and that’s why I believe in science and disagree with some of the things the bible says in its text.

      All of this made me realize that I am pretty mean and come down with a very hard opinion about others and their way of thinking. Although some of the invisible narratives that I carry within me are somewhat bad they are ultimately what have shaped me and I don’t think I’m in bad shape. I do admit that I am a bit judgmental and can be harsh at times because of my views of the world. These narratives can affect me as well as others and that can really take a toll on my career choice since I have the dream of becoming a doctor.

     As a doctor I will encounter various people with different points of view that wont always match up with my ideologies and I have be able to provide the best care to all people and out aside my view to ensure good health to my patients. I really need to work on my own views and invisible narratives before I can even start working as a doctor and I’m not exactly sure how I would do that.

     I ultimately do want to reduce the impacts these narratives have on people around me and as well as the effects they have on me. In class we have learned about oppression and both sides of this. I don’t want to be an oppressor and I feel like I can lower the impact of my narrative and ideas on others by simply stopping and thinking about how not everyone is like me and that’s what makes the world so beautiful. The worlds diversity is what makes the world such a wonderful and interesting place. To reduce the effects f my own narratives on myself I feel like I need to more open minded to the opinions and views of others because that can help me change my views for the better to make me a better-rounded person.

      The invisible narrative you carry within you can really shape the type of person you are and how you interact in society and without even thinking you can really affect others with your invisible narratives. But the best way I can personally fix the impacts of my narratives on others is like I explained above to simply learn to love differences and respect them as well. English 214 was different, it like was like no English class I have ever taken and this was honestly one of the few classes that helped me learn something about my self. I’ll miss you English 214.

Final Blog---Reflection

Overview of My Experience in English 214

I expected something a little different coming into English 214, I imagined that we would be assigned a book and write continuous essays about it. But no, we were assigned to read multiple articles and analyze them thoroughly. Some of the things we discussed in class were: what it meant to be in a “discourse,” the standard ways of writing in my discourse, what was the “correct” way to write so that others would understand the message I am trying to imply in my papers, how human behaviors/judgments are shaped by invisible narratives, how metaphors drives our assumptions, and etc. I thought invisible narratives were like subliminal messages, but as we broke down the articles and discussed in class, I learned that invisible narratives are almost similar to being a hidden message but it is not quite. These context we read is an invisible narrative. Digging the deeper meaning, and breaking it down the context helps us find the invisible narrative. 

 

At first, I didn’t even know how writings can impact the way we think. The subtext in our daily lives shapes up what we believe, and how we view the world. It actually shapes our reality. For example after reading The High Cost of Zero Cost by Ariely, I was enlightened by the fact that people would choose the item that is “free” but low quality over the item hat is higher quality but cost a little more. Being someone who’s worked in retail for a year now, I relate this back to how items are priced at my retail job. Prices often change every few days as being a strategy to make sales. I’ve notice customers returning to buy a particular item because they wanted to wait for it to go on sale. To illustrate this, one day a jacket may be full priced at $40, another day $25, then next it has been moved to “clearance section” but it is final priced at $29.99. Customers are often very vulnerable by the fact clearance items are considered to be really cheap, and are tricked by it. I saw more people buying the jacket when its “clearance with the orange tag” than when is marked down and placed by the regular priced items. The invisible narrative behind this is that my company place these orange tags often times for the reason of attracting customers to some of our popular items, such as the jacket and will not sell it for any less than $29.99 from that day on. Not to mention, discounts and coupons codes can never be combinable with clearance/orange tag items but it can be with regular sale items. My point here is that for many years, people and our society believe items with sale tags are typically a great deal. For someone like me whose been watching prices change frequently, I have to disagree. Most likely all retail stores use this same strategy and you are better off getting a better price before it is moved to clearance.

Now that I’ve learned what invisible narratives are, I kind of think about how it plays a role in my everyday life. I analyze actions, sayings, and anything else I read. I’m really glad we had the chance to really talk about this in class because I would have never realized. Another important thing that I took from this class and applied to my writing skills since, is reading the article STROL and Counter-Argument to STROL by Zorn. Throughout many of my English classes I often write in my own language and received an OK grade. I always wondered what would make my paper deserve an A. I understand that now it’s because the reader is unable to understand my writing completely, because it is not the “standard” way of writing. While grading my peers on their essays I thought about how these two articles are true and accurate. I couldn’t understand what some of my peers were writing about just because it’s not the typical readings on newspapers, magazines, and etc. It was their own language and I am not use to it. Ever since I was introduced to these two articles, I look back at my essay assignments for this class, and I think to myself “how I can make this piece of writing more clear and understandable?” This class has stimulate the way I think about how I write and I can only say I truly want to improve it.

Looking back at my previous assignments, my perspectives have changed for the better. I have definitely become more open-minded to different types of writings, and more aware of invisible narratives. I know how to break down IN's and understand them better. That way I’ll be able to lessen the impact it has on me in the future. 

This has been a great class and I enjoyed getting feedback from my peers. Good luck to all and thanks for reading my blog posts. Have a great break!!!! =)